Get Your Lingerie at Shopko

(Title for attention, but yes it's relevant to the story)

If you grew up in the Midwest, you are familiar with Shopko. Headquartered in Green Bay, Wisconsin, Shopko was at a tier between Kohl’s and Wal-Mart. Long story short, it became a bit too boring and mediocre, and it couldn’t adapt to deep discounts and the ever-evolving retail environment, and it shuttered its doors.

In its 1980’s heyday, Shopko was bustling. So, when I learned that my co-worker used to be a check-out person there in his early twenties, I saddled up to hear some stories.

I was not disappointed.

First, I must tell you that this is the guy who has the best stories. They are usually ridiculous, silly, and hard to believe, but they are 100% true. They are also best told in the original voice of the storyteller, but I will do my best to relate the story here:

It’s the early eighties, and my friend is a Shopko checker. He’s a simple guy, not into anything too fancy. He may have been an assistant coach for his high school’s football team at the time.

A woman comes through his line, and wouldn’t you know it, he needs to do a price check on a bra. He figures okay I’ve got this; I know the department name, I’ll simply get on my walkie talkie and ask for a price.

He puts the walkie talkie up to his mouth and confidently says, “Price check, lingerie. Price check, lingerie.”

And then he proceeds to hear buckets of laughter reverberating throughout the store’s walkie talkies.

He was perplexed. That was the right department. Geesh, why are people so immature?

It was true, he got the department right. What he did not get right was the pronunciation.

What he actually said was, “Price check, LING-EREE, price check, LING-EREE.”

Yes, with a hard G. Rhymes with ring.

This was the reaction from the Shopko lady. (IYKYK)