Chapter 16: Mean People

I don’t really have an appropriate picture for this chapter. Instead, I will choose to                                                                        showcase Dan’s magnificent perm from 1986.

I don’t care how much you’ve perfected the art of helicopter parenting; there’s no way you’ll be able to shield your kid from mean people. Even in the safest of environments, meanies still thrive – waiting to jump out and surprise kids when they least expect it.

Case in point: When I was in fourth grade Girl Scouts, I had to leave my weekly meeting a little early and wait outside of the school for my mom to pick me up for a dentist appointment. All of a sudden a rundown pickup truck sped by. I looked up and locked eyes with the 20-something-year-old guy in the back of the truck. He pointed his finger at me and yelled, “I want to suck your tits!”

Cute, right? Baby’s first sexual harassment.

I remember just standing there and staring at him as the truck roared away. Did I hear him right? What the hell was wrong with him? For the love of all that was holy, I wasn’t even wearing a bra yet! Let’s just say that was probably the least likely encounter I’d expected when I’d woken up that morning.